I Am Just A Side Chick.

"Life as a side chick is just full of drama..." was the last statement Bimpe made during our conversation. I know almost everyone has an idea about who a side chick is but i'll tell  you this story so you can relate better. Well, for clarity sake, a side chick is that babe that's like a plan B( to a married or single guy).She is either aware that she is a side chick or not aware. However, life as a side chick is really unbearable. Personally, i cannot deal with that. I'd rather be alone than cling to someone who has someone they prefer over me.

Okay, before i say this story, this post is not to judge anyone as life happens differently to all of us but then again, becoming or accepting to be a side chick should not be part of your decisions in life if you ask me.

I wonder what i was thinking when i finally gave my heart to someone who was already committed to someone as a wife or a girlfriend; Bimpe soliloquized.

"My name is Bimpe and i am in my late twenties. I have not had the best from relationships so i thought it wise to pause on the "dating thing". Barely six months after my decision to stay without committing to anyone,i came across JIDE...Wow! Jide was just a perfect description of the man i have always prayed to have in my life.I smiled when he said "Hello" as i almost missed my step while the fancy bag i was holding almost slipped off my hand. He walked closer to me,brought out his hand for a handshake while i hurriedly complied.The warmth could not let me bade goodbye to his hands so fast,i just could not stop smiling...I was almost forgetting i was sent on an errand to quickly get onion from the nearest shop close to us as mum noticed we ran out of onion just as she wanted to make breakfast that Saturday morning.Oh! i have to hurry back home i said aloud to him as i noticed i was getting engrossed in our conversation and the warmth of his hands. Jide allowed me hurry up with the shop date but took my number and promised to call.God knows and sees my heart;i could not wait for the call as i did not bother to ask for his because i did not want to be the first to call.

           Later that evening at about 8pm my phone rang and i just suspected it would be Jide as i ran to get the phone, unfortunately,it was MTN calling,i almost threw my phone away but i suddenly remembered it was a birthday present from my Dad,so i just calmed my nerves.Just as i dropped the phone and wanted to leave the room,the phone rang again,please MTN leave me with your wahala joorr,i said aloud as i sluggishly approached the phone.It was not MTN this time but my Ex who just broke up with me six months ago...God bless him he called with an unknown number ,i trust ,i would have decided to miss the call.We spoke for a few minutes and i had to tell him i had an important thing to attend to,so he dropped the call.Will Jide eventually call?I thought to myself as i made my way to my bed with my phone in my hand.I anticipated his call but the next time i checked my phone was 5:30am the next day.Oh! he did not call,i lamented.
          Just after my morning prayer,my phone rang and behold the voice i heard...JIDE'S... saying "Hello Sunshine" Awww,i just felt my day was blessed as he graced it with his voice.Good morning i responded,as he continued speaking"since you did not tell me your name,i have chosen to call you*Sunshine*Is that fine by you,he asked...I said yes and still told him my name is Bimpe. He apologized for not calling me last night and promised to stay in touch.We talked and most times had fun times at different spots but i never knew i was gradually falling in love with someone's husband.On this fateful day i decided to ask him after he had a brief discussion with someone over the phone and my instincts told me that it was a woman as i heard him promise to get beverages and toiletries on his way back home...Are you married i asked? OhYes,he replied without hesitation and continued, with an amazing daughter too.Oh!Wow!!! that's really cool i said with a broken heart and a pretentious smile...How come i never figured out and never suspected i whispered to myself. That night, on our way back to where he was meant to drop me off,i said nothing as he spoke all through the drive,promising me that he was never never letting me go and that if i needed anything he was going to provide it.But he broke my heart that night when he said"please my sunshine you would have to stop calling me on the phone from now on and most especially at odd hours;i will call you myself whenever. I think my wife is already suspecting i have a mistress,he concluded.Hmm,Okay oo its alright,do have a good night rest were all i could utter as i made my way out of his car.
         Jide never stopped calling as promised and he also lavished me with money and gifts too.it was really fun having to go for shopping whenever and buying good things for myself.but i feel sad anytime he wants to leave; i was almost forgetting i was hanging out with a married man.
         Sometimes i just want to call him to say*hello* or even listen to that voice of his which got me loving him more anytime i heard it.Most times i felt like having some deep conversations with him in the middle of the night or just lay next to him for a few hours...I guess i was asking for too much as the person in question was someone's husband and i remembered suddenly, oh!i'm just a side-chick.
        One day i thought to myself,how can i choose to be a side-chick,when i can be the main chick so i decided to let Jide be with his family as i didn't want to share my husband with a side-chick tomorrow.It wasn't an easy decision but i took it anyway and decided to forget the benefits that came with that commitment.
           Today i'm engaged to a better person than Jide and he's not someone's husband.Our wedding is just a couple of weeks away.
        Thank God i took the decision of letting Jide go...I am happier and at rest with my new found love Andrew.

MORAL

To  you side-chicks out there,quit being a side-chick.You were not destined to be a side-chick but a main chick,a bride,a wife and a mother eventually.If i could,You can.



To all my beautiful ladies out there, I know the waiting time can be really frustrating;but i want you to wait some more. I tell you, when the right time comes with the right person beside you, you will realize it was worth the wait. Honestly, i do not believe that you were born to be a side chick... You are a queen to a king somewhere. Do not allow a man treat you as a second best. Oh yes, love can find you again. Say goodbye to that man who promises you heaven on earth but cannot make you his bride and wife. You are not an after thought dear. Someone, somewhere is waiting patiently to find you, but you sincerely have to detach to attach or be single to mingle. I know it comes with a whole lot of benefits,but how do you feel knowing he leaves you anytime to the arms of a woman who he loves more and shares more deep times with... Please, do not listen to the lies these men tell you that they do not love their wives bla bla bla, as a matter of fact, they just want to have their way with you and then jump to the next available babe if you don't know. Tell them to go back to their wives and sort whatever issues they have with them. I believe you can be loved genuinely again. Just raise your head up high as a queen that you are and wait for your king to find you. While you wait, i advice you love yourself enough and build yourself too as no man wants to marry a liability. Okay guys, this is all i have for you all today... till i come your way again, always remember the world is waiting to reckon with your uniqueness, find it!

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2 Comments

Ity Otong said…
Cool...I've had this experience before and I'd to snap myself out if it.
Sometimes it feels as though the good men have finished all all. But I've got to ignore the feelings and trust in God's providence. I attended a singles program and i felt God assuring me that my husband is alive #be grateful.
Big shout out to Ebijanded,as you prepare to tie the nut may you be the main chick, side chick, over head chick and under chick to that man and (in the words of my pastor) may you fill his life so much, he'll see God in a fresh experience. Love you Bae. Cheers
Ebijanded said…
Awww... Nice comment dear. Amen to the prayer. Feel free to share this article. Thanks deary