FLAWLESS...


I got a mail last week from a married friend of mine and she pleaded that i share her story on my blog so as to encourage those getting married soon not to go into marriage with fantasies or lies.

My meeting with Melvin was coincidental as we clicked at first glance. It got me baffled but i smiled because it felt so right. I was just called on emergency to come to the office...

I left the house in a rush and i found myself in the office within a twinkle of an eye as my office was within Lekki axis and my crib was a stone throw. Getting to the reception, I saw this young looking guy in his late thirties waiting to be attended to but all i could do was smile and hurriedly left his sight as i had no business whatsoever with a total stranger. My meeting with the MD lasted for about 2Hours and all i wanted to do was hurry back home and  have  a good shower as i was very tired; but as i tried getting a taxi home, i saw the young man i smiled at there at the reception waving at me and coming closer...

When he spoke to me at first,i was somehow disappointed because he appeared finer than his voice. I just hated the accent that came through with his sweet voice...

Not long after we met,he wanted more than friendship...hmmm... i thought it was just going to stay simply as friends as i really was not cool with his accent at all; but i loved his personality as he could make my boring day fun filled and i loved him staying so close to me, but not always talking...LOL.

I had worries about us taking the relationship to the next level as he appeared more like "The ladies man" and that made me worry if i was everything he wanted in a woman.
Six months down the line,he proposed... yayyyy... I was super excited  about it anyways...Every lady likes the feeling that comes with the proposal and i am not left out on that. I got so many congratulations on that day and our pictures were everywhere as we had lots of encouragements and awww, awww feeling as we looked so cute together and appeared as everyone's idea of  a  perfect match. Honestly, i was happy that came through for us because he is a good man and he  has also proven his love for me within a short period of time. I think i was beginning to love him more than his accent now and i found nothing wrong with the decision to marry him. Plans started going on as regards getting married, my parents were super glad with the news and wanted everything to go as planned. I tell you this, the planning process for the big day was very stressful but that's the amazing thing about having a supportive and caring guy like Melvin. He was always there to encourage me through the process and made it stress free. The deal day finally came and i was looking super amazing...
I could not stop admiring myself as i looked extra beautiful. I saw my glowing skin and facials looking so on fleek... I could not stop smiling and admiring myself. WOW! I looked really beautiful. My friends could not stop taking pictures and selfies with me as my look was really stunning. My parents kept admiring me and well wishers were full of smiles that day. I could not just wait to get to church to see the wow look on his face... I wanted to see how happy he would feel when he sees me walking down the aisle. I was happy i was seeing my big day and doing this with Melvin, i have grown to love him more than the first time we met.
At the altar,while we were exchanging our marital vows, my heart pounced for FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN...Tonight will be a starting point to the journey of the unveiling. I was sad but i pretended to smile through it all as the cameras were all on me and i did not want them thinking i was unhappy. The vows ended, pictures were taken, we danced and everyone gave their gifts and wished us well.
       
          The day finally came to an end with just Melvin and I in our hotel room... OH! Baby we had an awesome time, i said aloud and he affirmed that we did and that he had so much fun...I told him i needed to have a shower and headed for the bathroom but i planted a kiss on his forehead as he would not allow me leave without doing that.

           There in the shower, i had deep thoughts and i wondered how Melvin was going to accept the real me as we barely spent quality and intimate times together and there were so many things about me that he did not know about.


  • How do i tell him my boobs are really small, as i always had my push ups on which made them seem bigger than the original size...
  • How do i tell him i'm not as accommodating as he thought i was... I really love my space
  • How would he feel to hear me make horrible sounds with my teeth and that i open my mouth when i sleep...
  • Oh! my bumbum which appeared extra big but really did not look as big as that.. My big day demanded i wore it so i could look extra hot... As a matter of fact, i had that on most times
  • hehehe, my horrible nature of farting first thing in the morning and how terrible it smells...

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom as fear gripped me to have a shower. How will i go through this journey with these defects? As i thought about all that, tears flowed from my eyes and i could hear the bathroom door open slightly. I could not turn to see who it was as i knew it had to be Melvin as i had spent time and he was worried about me; but i could not let him see my tears...

He walked straight to me, held my hands, looked me in the eyes and whispered these words to me...


" Honey, i know I did not marry a perfect woman and as a matter of fact, i never intended to marry anyone perfect. I saw your imperfections even though you tried to appear like you were perfect, I  simply chose to love you regardless"
 As he spoke, i wept like a child..I cried in shame and regretted hiding the real me from him all along.

Melvin held me so closely and continued whispering sweet words to me as i cried in shame simply regretting why i had to hide the truth that cannot be hidden forever. Finally, he said,"Baby, i love your imperfections, because i am also imperfect. Marriage is not flawless. We work on flaws. Together we can make this love work and end our journey well... I married your soul and not just your body. You are good enough for me"
You will tell me everything i need to know tonight and we shall start working on them from tomorrow, but for now, let's have a shower together.

"I LOVE YOU MY DEAR WIFE"... He said that with a cute smile and a kiss on my lip and i whispered with tears in my eyes, I LOVE YOU TOO MY DEAR HUSBAND.


One thing i want everyone reading this post to know is that in the journey of marriage, there are no lies...it's a time of the unveiling. The real you shows up and it hurts if your partner never knew or saw those negative qualities. There is actually no reason to pretend about anything. The right person will love you regardless of the things you count as defects. Marriage is not flawless, we only work on flaws.  I am happy to say that my marriage has worked in so many great ways and i am blessed with three amazing children[two girls and a boy]. Thank you for your time and thank you Ebijanded for the platform to share my experience.


I hope you learnt from this experience? please feel free to drop a comment and share this post to reach out to someone who needs this information. you can also send your experiences to my email: talk2ebijanded@gmail.com. looking forward to hearing from you. Do not worry your identity won't be told, just your story.

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